1. Let yourself know who you are
You will have to know the things you like and how much you like them. This is important as you may be able to make informed decisions. You can be proud of your choices. Then you are sure to earn yourself some value to yourself, hence improved self-respect. Have you ever met a person who is so undecided and confused about what he wants that it even confuses you? Such people do not give themselves much value. Low self-respect!
Part of knowing yourself is being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. I say that as if you do not know them already, right? Yah! Actually, many people haven’t discovered what they are good at or where they are not so good. Knowing this helps you to. . .
2. Know what you are good at
You wouldn’t respect someone who keeps making the same mistakes or someone who repeats the same mistakes. Would you?
I wouldn’t! Why?
Well, because he just doesn’t seem to deserve to be admired. The same is true about us as individuals. When you keep failing on something or when you find yourself maintaining a mediocre performance it is convenient to decline yourself self-admiration which is self-respect.
So, now that you have determined what your strengths and weaknesses are. Focus on your strengths which are what you do best. For instance, it has appeared to me that I am not so good with athletic sports. But I am good and fast with literature (written text) and painting. So I now focus on that. I recall when I was in grade 4, and Mrs Pfende had us lined up on the starting line in a track. When she says “….ready, go!” I would still be looking around and I would be left a couple of feet behind by others. Taking last place.
But I also reminisce the glory days of quiz. Oh and painting? We did wonders there. That is one of my many source of unshakable self-respect. Those were and are my strengths. If I were to force athletics and look at how I performed I would have very low self-respect. I mean, what’s there to admire? Nothing!
So, pal, find out what you are good at, then. . .
3. Do what you do best
As clear as it is…just put your best effort on what you are doing. It could be cleaning or checking a document for errors or writing a docket.
You, like me and any other person, have a conscience. That part of your mind that knows to separate between good and bad. When your conscience condemns you, you have no space to admire yourself.
Who would admire a bad person? Not even a bad person himself. So what’s different in a case when you condemn yourself for being lazy or not doing your best?
Do what you do as if the whole world is watching. Give it your best effort and ability. You will admire the person that you are today and in the future.
What is that?
Unshakable Self-respect and your confidence soars . . . you get to do things you never thought you could do. Having had done some great and admirable things. You have room to. . .
4. Focus on your good deeds more than you do on the bad ones
I remember reading Re-Awaken the Giant Within, a motivational book by Anthony Robbins. I got a whole new perspective of FOCUS. He compared focus with the focus of a camera, saying that when a camera focuses on something it takes images or videos of that thing and a few things only. It is so narrow that you it won’t tell the whole story of the whole place or event.
I am saying when I focus on my good deeds more than I focus on my bad actions, I would be narrowing my view of the things I do. Just looking and concentrating on the good things I do. This places the evidence of a good behaviour in front of me – some things worth of admiration about myself. Then I can like the person that I am, getting motivated to do more good to keep me admiring this good person that I am. I would then respect and value myself – holding this person that I am in high regard – high and unshakable self-respect!
Wouldn’t it be so convenient to do yourself a favour and. . . .
5. Reward yourself and commend yourself for job well done
It would be a good thing and something that is uplifting to celebrate your victories and accomplishments. You get to reward yourself.
Naturally humans, have this need to be honoured and be rewarded as a sign of appreciation. Once something is appreciated people will continue to do what they have been appreciated for. And more, they will look for creative and easy methods of doing it to the extent that they will improve so fast that the result will be grand and excellent. Isn’t that true?
As if focusing on the good and rewarding yourself is not enough. To make your self-respect strong and firm so that not small and everyday mistakes can reduce it. You need to commend yourself when you do something good. It doesn’t matter how small or big. Make time to look into the good things you have done and complement yourself.
I personally like to exaggerate a bit and look in the mirror and tell myself that I am the man. That I am great and invincible. When I leave the mirror, my shoulders are high, my face bright and my heart pounding with joy. I can’t help it but love, admire and respect this man – myself.
What is that? High and unshakable self-respect! Once you do that I will be so bold when I encourage you to. . .
6. Be yourself
By this I mean you just have to do things the way you would do if you were alone. The way the original you would do, not someone who would want to impress the crowds or keep some ‘good image’ or a copycat. You are not a copy and certainly you do not want to do politics with your personal life. Politics of living a fake life just to impress the fans or lie to keep a good image.
When one lives like that, it is not so good when they look at themselves in the mirror. They do not like what they see in the mirror – what’s there to admire? I have never heard of any normal human being, in his right mind who ever kept respecting and admiring a fake thing. Neither would you wholly respect yourself when you are trying to be someone that you are not, when you have multiple personalities.
So, be yourself and have the boldness to look yourself in the mirror and admire that awesome, excellent and good person. Enjoy the emotions that flow within you. Remember the emotions when you start new things, when you are nervous, when you have made a mistake and you will get back and be the best. That is you, the best you…you will love it.
Be generous to yourself sir or ma’am. Let yourself go through these 6 steps of earning unshakable self-respect. You will see that you won’t hesitate or fear to do things. It will do you more good than harm. You may feel stupid when you start, especially step 1, 2 and 5, but it will pay off immensely