I have found trust to be the aroma and foundation of any relationship. Trust makes a relationship healthy and strong when it is complemented by confidence and assurance. Confidence and assurance in one another. One needs to be sure that the person they trust is worth trusting in. I would just need to feel good about trusting someone. I want to know that by trusting someone I am doing a good thing and that it could help me one day. And, by help me I do not mean in a selfish way like to get someone on my side or get them in my deck so that I can spin that for when I need support or something in the future like many people do. I mean, to know that my trust on someone may help do some good in the world.
Now, this confidence and assurance produces definite and tangible boldness and pride in the one who is being trusted. I hope you can see the helping you I was talking about.
Imagine how it would feel like watching your new partner come up with a new product on the market knowing that it is because you trusted him when it was hard trusting him. Imagine the feeling, the emotions that would within you when your friend comes up with a beautiful design of clothes, because you trusted them with your resources and time. I say the feeling would be so great. I would feel good. Usually, the fact that you trust someone encourages them to do better. I would want to feel like I can do better.
However to build such trust that is anchored by confidence and assurance producing boldness and pride in someone who trust, there has to be…..
- Effective communication
What you tell each other and what you talk about has to be very clear and understandable. At least that way you can trust that they heard you. Effective communication involves sending a messages and making sure that the one who receives it gets the intended meaning. It requires that the receiver response so you can be sure that they got the message. So, when you know somebody, doesn’t only know what you want but actually understand what you want when you want it can give you the boldness and confidence when you trust them.
Effective communication. Sending and receiving messages clearly makes trust stronger and worth bragging about. What a great and convenient way of growing a relationship.
I don’t know if you got this but, it just requires that both parties play their part. Both parties have a role to play. Trust, like loyalty is a two way street. You wouldn’t expect someone to trust you when you do not trust them. You need to trust too and you need to make it easy for them to trust them. Observe what goes on. Their gestures of care and when they try do something for you. Listen when they tell you something, when they are talking to you. Even when you are busy with something. Give them a slot.
It is not easy to commit to telling the truth. It is difficult because sometimes it would give people a bad image of you, sometimes it may cause them to want to get rid of you which can make you poor. So, telling the truth requires boldness.
It pays to tell the truth. Because when someone finds out that you always tell them the truth. They are going to find it easy to believe what you represent and what you are associated with. Now that is trust. I mean if they see that you can trust them with the truth, what is to stop them from trusting you? It is balanced – two way street. The person won’t feel the need to look over and supervise what you do or dig on what you said to make sure that you told the truth. It is a great feeling to know that someone can believe what you tell them without having to look for proof.
That is trust.
- Deep knowledge of one another
Ah, isn’t this obvious? Yah it is hey. Anyway, you have to be sure that someone you trust knows you enough to know how and why you react the way you do when your phone battery goes flat. Your colleague has to know you enough to know that being late for even a minute may spoil your day.
When he knows to this extent, you know well that he may do other things but getting in your way of happiness is not one of the things he can do.
What is that?
It is trust!
So, getting to know each other in relationships can open grand doors for building trust in relationships that produce mutual benefits.
- Giving and taking
Giving especially at critical points unexpectedly will show that you really have someone’s back. They will trust that next time when you say you have their back, you mean it. They will be in line for your help. It carries more weight when it is a sacrifice.
Taking what you have been giving shows approval of their initiative in a relationship. Moreover it makes the other person feel needed. That way, they have confidence and boldness to be in relationship with you. Consequently, they may be able to trust that you will welcome their help when you need it. Usually this opens doors for exclusive conversations hence trust.
Giving and taking causes trust to grow in relationships.
- Forgiveness/benefit of the doubt
The courage to let go the bad thing that your partner did can be a good start for him to start trusting you.
Not holding grudges against someone who did something bad to you is an act of kindness. In as much as it relieves you, it lightens the guilt on the forgiven. I know how it feels to have someone remind me of something bad that I did to them. Remembering your faults has this way of sapping energy out of us. Especially when the evidence appears frequently. Usually you get to label yourself a villain and irresponsible. And, in a matter of time you may find yourself acting as a villain. I remember the feeling I would have when she reminds me of my actions. I would just feel like she hates me, that she is against me. Would you ever trust someone you believe is against you? I wouldn’t. Even if I know that I deserve not to be forgiven.
So, when you forgives your friend and give her another chance she is more likely to see you as someone on her side. That way she can trust you with a lot of things.
Forgiveness is a fundamental foothold of climbing the ladder in building trust in relationships.
Ability to feel and express the emotions felt by others at any time. It could be feelings of happiness, anger, pain, fear, among others.
When you can see things or view situations from another person’s perspective things are different from when you see from your view. Naturally you speak and act in line with what they are feeling. It then confirms that you are one. When you recommend or advice, there are high chances that the person will do what you have recommended.
That is trust.
It doesn’t end there; it would cause the person who trust you to develop a deeper assurance in you. They won’t hesitate to even confide in you which may ease your dealing with problems.
There is a point in life where you get so safe because someone can do something for you. Even when you are backed in a corner by problems. I remember during the Global Financial Crisis and famine in 2008 feeling weak and out of energy watering the garden with my cousin. My grandmother had gone out to look for some basic commodities. Knowing the kind of person that she is, I just knew that even though I was hungry that day I was going to eat and be satisfied. So I did all that she had assigned us to do, and more.
Yes I had more than enough food available for me for more than a month. I mean I was able to eat and be full, not only that day but for many weeks that followed. That is security. I was secure and not shaken by the situation because I knew she had the situation under control. Would you not trust someone like that when they tell you everything is going to be okay? I would and be proud and confident about it.
Now, you wouldn’t be that person by making excuses. Would you? Nah!
You need to be someone who does his best to make the lives of the people you care about easy. They need to see that. When they do, they are secure. Then they can trust you with profound confidence and assurance.
Making your loved one and the people you relate with secure about what you can do for them can be a great way of building trust in relationships that last.
- Compliance in values
Being different, it is usually rare to find someone who values the same things with you. To say you value growth and multiplication than survival in the things you do and there is someone who does the same. Or to say you value food over being smart and someone does that too. It is rare. And that usually creates a rift between two people who are supposed to trust and relate with each other. Especially spouses, business partners among others.
When you hold the same values and beliefs it is convenient to believe that someone will not harm you and will act in ways that would favour your interests. Thus it is easy to trust.
But, you do not always have to be in agreement with their vague or orthodox beliefs and values so that they trust you.
You may just need to appreciate and respect what someone believes in. Not mock their beliefs and values. For example, I have someone I talk to, I hang around with.She has this way of making me feel stupid about the fact that I believe I am an entrepreneur and that I would rather die without a job than take a job that I do not enjoy. I really don’t trust her.
By challenging and mocking someone’s convictions you would be presenting yourself as an armed enemy. So, I would not want to give you a good angle of attacking me by letting you in my life.
Comply with someone’s beliefs and values or at least appreciate them and be sure to build trust. Mock and ridicule them and be sure to be kept out. As an enemy.