“In today’s world, paradoxically, it is the boldest action that is often the safest. Remaining where you are, in a world that is changing so rapidly is, in fact, the most dangerous of all places to be in” ~ Hakeem Belo-Osagie.
“What’s worse is that, after making a positive change, we often allow others in our environment who have not changed their image of us to anchor our own emotions and beliefs back into our old behaviours and identities.” ~ Anthony Robbins in Re-Awaken the Giant Within
# Identity Crisis! What is that Anyway? I wouldn’t have that!
Have you ever seen someone who is always flipping characters as if they were clothes? That person can be anyone at any time. Normally, somebody with the issue of identity crisis finds it hard to distinguish themselves from others. They have to copy a bunch of people to determine the person that they are. Some get to copy from their role models, some from movies…that would be me, sometime ago.
The process of copying and benchmarking characters is so convenient, but eish, it comes at a cost pal. I mean cost – 5 of them! I bet you can’t afford these. You don’t have to.
- Feeling of inadequacy and imperfect.
The fact that you have tried to be like others but you still don’t seem to be like others is frustrating.
Normally, because we have different gifts and talents. So in our effort to be like the people we admire we fail to be exactly like them. When we fail it’s convenient to feel like we don’t have all we need to be notable in history. One can conclude and default to an identity that says, ‘I am unable to do this or that’.
Certainly and as a result, such people see themselves with imperfection and consider themselves a ‘side effect to an evolutionary process that cares little for individual lives’ or something like that.
You know what that does to these people?
Loss in self-esteem and…
2. Lack of confidence
According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary, confidence is “a feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities.”
Now, given this definition, I’m sure you can agree with me that once you make such conclusions and defaults as I pointed out before. There is no way someone can have genuine self-assurance arising….one’s own abilities.
But in other instances, if not in addition to the other effects, identity crises and the need to conform may result in….
3. Frustration and Confusion
Frustration comes when a person tries to conform to things that are done out of a deep passion or a step towards a predetermined destiny. I have seen people around here making efforts to do things the way somebody does. Sometimes to the extent of making career choices based on what somebody said they would do.
Because it’s not your passion you will struggle in that area. You may not take the tasks as simple as they do. That’s frustrating and confusing. It saps energy and enthusiasm.
If it happens that you realise that you are stuck in an area that does not make you use your talents to the best potential later in life, it causes mid-life crisis….wooo now that’s bad. Very!
4. Unsettled Behaviour
“. . . we define ourselves not only by who we are, but by who are not,” says Tony Robbins in Re-Awaken the Giant Within.
You know what I’m taking there? The fact that we define ourselves by both who we are and who we are not. I imagine not being able to define or describe the kind of person that you are. Even to yourself. You would not know when to agree with something or not.
Personally, I wouldn’t imagine. I would remember.
Not a long time ago, I was a victim identity crisis. I know how it is like. You can only agree or not agree to something because of instincts or emotions or some long process of unnecessary and unyielding evaluation – considering the benefits and problems. It sucks and it’s so bad that sometimes you get to think that you are slow in thinking or something.
It’s a common routine – to regret and be sorry for yourself. I would get to do things I wouldn’t want to do. Like sometimes I am a comedian, sometimes I am like a weirdo or some wanna be genius or, or a lot of things actually. This would come along with indecision. Now that is BAD folks. That bad! At least I’m out of it, you can be out too and be able to define yourself….have some identity!
And, as unfortunate as it is; the result is, such people…..
5. Lack Ambition and Vision
With an unsettled behaviour and indecision, both as a result of not knowing the kind of person that you are or the person you want to be. It is easy to understand how one may be without a strong desire to achieve a definite thing in life.
How is that a problem? I will give you a ‘demo.’
Take it like this; how would it feel like playing soccer without needing to score? Would it be interesting? Would it be rewarding? I doubt that. Okay, maybe you can have fun dribbling the ball and skating each other, so it maybe a little interesting. How about competing in a race when there is no finishing line? Or even worse going on an expedition in a thick scary jungle without a compass?
That is how living without an ambition, vision or a purpose is like. It is not rewarding, boring and demotivating. Isn’t that a problem? If it’s not a problem I do not know what is. C’mon, get some energy pal.
There is one effect though that I consider to be more deadly than others here, that is….
Let’s say that you make it becoming like somebody you admire, then what? It’s like you have reached your destiny. There’s no more improvement needed. I mean because that’s what has been your aim.
So you get satisfied with the status that you have reached. There is no room for improvement from this point on. One gets so complacent with things that are not of his level because he has reached the standard that he has set for himself. The person gets so satisfied with where he is and what he has that he won’t see the need to innovate or be creative. Let alone applying their innovations.
People have stayed in old systems and so has the world. They are primitive and backward. I would like to put it this way – we get to be behind time in civilisation, barbaric, uncivilised and captive.
Is that what you want? To remain behind in civilisation? Because we have to be like some people whom we admire right now?
I’m not really saying that we shouldn’t admire great people. For instance, I have a number of people I like and follow, John C. Maxwell, Milton Kamwendo, Anthony Robbins, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, Shingi Munyeza, and Strive Masiyiwa among others. But not to the extent of wanting to be exactly like them.
I believe that, we all have unlimited potential to do great things for this world. Great things really! To do that, we have to be ourselves! We have to be original.