It’s important that people important to you consider you valuable, or more – priceless. You need to be somehow a key person in their lives. But, you need to earn this. How?
- Narrow your list of important people
When you have a few people that are important to you, you narrow your span of control. That basically gives you some authority.
And, more importantly, you have more time for them, more energy for them. Why? So that you can. . .
- Learn people, be a student of people
This has to do with you learning intimate things about them. And, you can grasp that things you’ll learn will mean something to you enough that you can remember them.
What do you do with this intimate information?
- You’ll know their strengths and weaknesses so….
- You can know when to come through – like when they need help; when they’re celebrating something, etc.
- You’ll know their emotional highs and lows. And that inevitably helps to. . .
- Identify lines to cross and lines not to cross. This then compliments your ability to. . .
- Know the kind of things that can motivate them, things to talk about. At this point, it’s convenient that. . .
- You get to influence their decisions which works well for you, a lot.
Basically you get to connect on a deeper level and prove yourself useful. He is, to you. Both of you feel special. Now, one thing down – a sizable step towards boosting your value in his mind. This is all good and sounds great, but how do you secure the intimate information? You’ll have to be open to. . .
3. Listen More, Reflect More, & Talk Less
It happens that above 99% of people in the world want to know that you are getting and understanding what they are telling you. People want to know that when they talk someone wants to know about what they are talking about, mostly, only that. Imagine how it would feel like to find out that someone is not only there on the other end, but they are so curious they can’t even move to make sure they don’t miss a word of what you are saying? It feels great, it’s priceless – exactly, you want to be of priceless value to them. So, give them that gift – listen.
More, drop the need to reply. That means you wade off any thought about how you’ll respond. This, whether what they’re talking about is against your values or in congruence. You’ll think of it later. Okay, one thing that is carbon to the steel of listening – reflecting what someone said to you! Just say it back, as they did or in interpretation. Ask questions for clarity.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” - Stephen R. Covey.
With all this, man, you command attention when you speak. You earn solid keystones in a meaningful relationship – respect, trust and consideration. Wouldn’t you say that’s being valuable? Another firm stride towards boosting your value to other people.
Next you work on being. . .
4. Be Dependable, Be Reliable
Be that kind of person who can do things they would remember – set landmarks, small or big. Huh?
Meet their needs when you can. You are useful, so you are important. I mean when you meet their needs, you increase your value to them. Okay, there’s more, be reliable – do things you aren’t asked to do, things that would change and improve their lives. Be careful though not to cross lines, you ‘ain’t their mama’. This will mean you’ll have to. . .
5. Show Up, More, In Time
Be with them. Be where you should be when they need you as long as you can. When you are present, you prove them important to you. Custom and human nature dictates that they plough back, though not everyone has sight enough to notice such until you no longer show up.
"No matter how feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up." - Regina Brett